5 More Freelance Jobs For Boom! Character (based solely on preview image)

Boom! Studios has released another teaser image for its new series, Freelancers.  Since I had so much fun coming up with freelance positions for her, I thought I would take a look at the possible freelance positions for this person as well.  First, the image:

This one offers a little more information than the previous teaser image, making it possible to narrow down her qualifications a little more.  I think it is also important to note that since she is an orphan, chances are she does not have close familial connections, so she is more likely to accept positions involving danger and/or travel.

1: LA Raider cheerleader.  Unless you are a Dalls Cowboys cheerleader that has a calendar deal, chances are that cheerleading is a freelance gig that you do for just a portion of the year. You are expected to travel with the team, be available for promotional opportunities, and get together on Thursday nights to figure out new and creative ways to shake pom-poms and look happy while your team is getting brutally defeated on the field.

Taking a look at her outfit, it is clear that she is trying to get a job with the LA Raiders squad.  First, she has a belt buckle with a heart and the letters “LA”.  Clearly she wants a job with an LA team (I think we can rule out the Saints because, even though they are in Louisiana, their team is usually shortened to N.O.).  But why the raiders?  Why not the Lakers or the Clippers?  Take a look at the rest of her outfit.  She has the black leather jacket, favorite of the Raider Nation, and the necklace that reads , “Bitch”.  A little attitude goes a long way for Raider Cheerleaders.

And look at those guns.  Part of the modern cheerleader repertoire is firing ill-fitting t-shirts in to the crowd in order to get them to “Make Some Noise!!!!”.  If she can handle a pair of .44 calibre pistols, I think she can handle a spud-gun and a roled up Haines Beefy-T.

2: Swimwear model.  Looking at her clothes, this young lady has quite a bit of her undergarments showing.  However, it is socially unacceptable for a woman to be walking around with half a bra and a good chunk of her underwear showing.  So it is clear that what is showing is not likely to be underwear, but something else.

While many women spend a great deal of time and effort trying to keep their underwear from showing , most women have no qualms about being seen in their swimsuits.  So, the fact that her swimsuit is showing underneath her clothes would probably give her less consternation than if it was her underwear.

Given that she is wearing a jacket with a fur collar and a pair of jeans, it is clear that this is not summer time.  Most catalog modeling is done at least one to two seasons ahead of time.  That means that summer swimwear catalogues are shot in the winter.  Any model is going to immediately want to cover up in a leather coat and a pair of jeans (probably a pair of Uggs as well!).

The guns?  Leftover props from the shoot.

3.  Harvested Organ Courrier.  When someone dies in an accident their organs can be donated to keep someone else alive.  Often times those organs have to be transported great distances in short order so they can be implanted in their new hosts.  But, with kidneys going for over $50k on the black market, the transportation of harvested organs can be extremely dangerous.

Everything from the tattoo to the oversized earrings says don’t mess with me.  With an unapproachable demeanor and oozing confidence (not to mention twin .44′s to back her up), any would-be organ thief is going to think twice before making a quick snatch and grab from this femme fatale courier.

Normally someone with a family to look out for would think twice about such a dangerous gig.  But an orphan with nothing to lose would love the cash and excitement.

4. Stuntwoman.  The greatest stuntman in modern history  is probably Jackie Chan.  The man has coordinated and performed stunts for almost 40 years.  One of his forst stunt jobs was performing stunts in the Bruce Lee film, Fists of Fury.  But how was he able to perform so many stunts for so long and with such conviction?  Simple.  he was raised in a Kung-Fu orphanage.

Ok, not quite.  It was actually the China Drama Academy, which is kind of the same thing.  For a decade he studied martial arts and acrobatics.  How much different can a Kung-Fu orphanage be?

However, romantic comedies tend to be much larger box office draws than action films.  Plus, with the advances in CGI technology the role of the stuntman or woman has significantly been reduced.  So, while it may have been a full-time gig in the past, nowadays people are more likely to freelance as a stuntperson.

5.  Substitute teacher.  The ultimate freelance gig.  Substitute teachers come in to fill a role of a teacher who is absent for one reason or another.  They never know what or where the job will be.  It could be kindergarten.  It could be middle school science.  They have to be prepared for anything.

With that outfit she is prepared to teach PE, art, music, or literature.  And those guns will maintain order in even the most inner of city classrooms.

Now that we know there will be more than one freelancer in this series, I am beginning to wonder what the format of the book will be.  My best guess so far is that it will be a Friends-style sitcom where a group of under-employed twenty-somethings get together and talk about how difficult their lives are while falling in love.

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