Self-Published Sunday: Diaries of the Invasion

Diaries of the InvasionIt is 2013 and we are back for more Self-Published Sunday!  It is our weekly look at books by creators who have taken great risks and chosen to publish on their own.  This week we look at Diaries of the Invasion by Jeffery Thompson and Aaron Foster.

The alien race known as the Eons initially came to Earth in the year 2000 offering peace to the people of the planet, because humans were a primitive race. Humans did not accept this and started a war they would live to regret. Three human hosts were captured and used for experimentation and then awoke in the year 2112 A.I. The Eons have decided to return, but this time not for peace but for revenge. 

Diaries of the Invasion is the kind of book that would benefit from some solid editing and the addition of some more pages. The concept is solid enough, and there are some revelations at the end which make this different than your average alien invasion story. But the manner in which the story plays out leaves plenty to be desired.

The war with the Eons is not the focus of the story, but expanding it a bit would have gone a long way to help the reader understand not only what happened, but why it happened. The humans did not trust the aliens, so the humans attacked. that is a viable story, but it needs more information than that for it to be believable. there is also no explanation for why the aliens left the planet once they were victorious. While that would make for a good mystery, it is not written that way. As it stands, it is just revealed that the war ended and the aliens went home.

Similarly, when the main character wakes up after having been captured by the aliens, he is back on earth with strange new powers. He and his two companions were each given unique powers from their time with the aliens, but only the main character actually uses his powers in any meaningful way. The other two are practically useless and are actually left behind during the climax of the book. With more pages the story could have been expanded to include something for them to do. But, in reality, they could have been edited out of the story and no one would miss them.

The characters are housed in a research facility where it is said that they are being tested. Life doesn’t seem that bad, but it is apparently bad enough that they have to be aided in leaving by a comely researcher named Lindsey who quits after they are released. Again, either the time in the facility should have been expanded to reveal more about how “terrible” it was that an escape plan needed to be executed, or the piece should have been re-written.

The most egregious example of a need for editing is in the dialogue. Characters speak like they are being voiced by eleven year old boys.

Caption Box: Finally one day Lindsey got tired of how we were being treated.
Caption Box: She pulled some string to get us released. She even got them to give us a car…a place to stay…and special for me, the most amazing motorcycle.
JEFF: Wow!
LINDSEY: You like, huh? I also have some special guns to give you.

The entire book is rife with similar dialogue and makes for an unpleasant read.

What is frustrating is that there is a kernel of solid storytelling in Diaries of the Invasion. There are reveals that work and are unexpected. Unfortunately they are either not given the room to breathe or are lost in clunky dialogue and questionable story beats.   Even more impressive, the creators create a complete story in just 25 pages.  The creators should continue to hone their skills and practice their craft. There is enough promise in this concept that, with dedication and devotion, they could turn into something good.

Check out the trailer below:

If you are interested in reading the book, you can purchase Diaries Of Invasion here (or read for free on your Kindle).

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